The Ways of War

No, this one isn't a story.

I'm trying to get in shape, and I'm having trouble compiling lists of kinds of workouts used by ancient warriors -- Celts, Greeks, Romans, etc. -- but as soon as I do, I'll make a list of daily exercises to do that will be a compilation, and, if possible, I'll do lists for each individual culture.

It'll be tough, but hell, it's worth it, if it means getting in shape more easily.

If anyone can help out, shoot me a line.

Zombie Story

(Really, this was more an exercise in having characters act in well-defined ways that are appropriate for their backgrounds and personalities, but it's pretty good as a stand-alone, in my humble opinion.)

Iroquois Heights High School

Corydon, Indiana

[John Arbuckle lights up a “q” – one of the post-war cigarettes named for their one-quarter tobacco content – and shakes his head at the ruins of his High School, which, as the interview is conducted, is being torn down by construction crews. This site, Iroquois Heights High School, is a sentimental place for John. This is where his war started.]

So, this is it?

Yeah. Hell of a place to die, huh? If that’s what you can call it, anyway.

How did Zack make it this far, anyway? Wasn’t some kind of warning system in place?

Are you joking? Look around you, man. This is Shitville. I guess the school had phones, sure, but remember, the Great Panic hadn’t even started yet, or we wouldn’t even have been in school. It had to be the hospital just down the block, [he gestures down the road, to a hospital that is no longer there] since the…ghouls, were in those toga-things they make you wear, where your ass shows and the nurses giggle and you feel like a dumbass.

I can’t even imagine being the poor kid who first saw them. What would I have done, man? Musta thought they were, like, burn victims or some shit. I know I would have. I feel like shit for saying this, but thank God it wasn’t me. Yeah. Thank God, man…

When did everyone realize what was going on, and how did they react?

[Laughs] You gotta be kidding. Shit, I dunno…when the “burn victims” started fucking eating people? But, uh, seriously, I guess…I remember some guy running past the class I was in – chemistry lab, we were combining some foul-smelling crap, but at least we got to play with fire – and he was just covered in blood, screaming his lungs out, “They ate him, for fuck’s sake! They fucking ate him!”

One of the counselors walking through the halls, this buff black guy, about 5’10”, real likeable, just tackles this kid and brings him right down, thinking this is some kind of sick prank or something. It’d almost be funny…almost. That is, if the kid wasn’t being followed by like five fucking zombies.

You saw this happening?

Yeah. When I heard the screaming, I was coming out of the bathroom, and the kid was way at the other end of the hall, coming my way. Got intercepted halfway there, and I watched them coming, the first Zs I ever saw. Of course, at the time, I didn’t know what to think, but, looking back on it, it’s fucking terrifying.

Anyway, my first instinct is “Jesus fucking Christ, run!” And I guess that’s why I lived. I know it’s probably a horrible thing to say – maybe I should have tried to help, been some kind of a hero, or something – but if I’d done anything stupid, there wouldn’t be much of anyone left to tell you this story.

So I run out of the school, since my class is right by the door that leads out to the parking lot, and my heart is pounding like God knows what. I guess that’s what I get for not playing any sports or whatever, but I was in full-on survival mode, dude. And what really sticks out to me is that I had no idea why. To all appearances, my life wasn’t in danger. I guess it’s like dogs, you know? They have that Z-sense or whatever; they can tell when Zack is in town, and start going apeshit. I ran like crazy until I got to my car – early-decade European coupe, my pride and joy – and only then did I look back. It was…hell. That’s the only way I can describe it.

What was happening?

Zack was pouring in. For him, it was lunchtime. Kids were pouring out, running and screaming. Some were trying to wrestle with Zack, and others, the hardcore kids, had knives that they were using to try to ward off ghouls. Lotta fuckin’ good that did ‘em. I must have zoned out, or something, because next thing I know, Zack’s coming for me. Guess I made a pretty appetizing target in those years. Anyway, I realize I’m about a minute away from being lunchmeat, and start trying to get into my car. It was like in the fuckin’ horror movies; had a case of the shakes so bad I had to guide the key into the lock with two fingers. Never bothered with those damned keyless unlock keychain whatever-the-hells. Anyway, I jump in, lock the doors, put the key in, turn her on, put my glasses on, take off my shoe…

Why did you take off your shoe?

Hah, funny you mention it. My friends gave me shit about it, actually. I took off my shoe because I couldn’t feel the pedals otherwise. I’d only been driving for about two months, mind you, and I was cautious. Been rear-ended once already, and didn’t want to return the favor or anything. Now that you bring that up, I guess it’s funny I remembered. In the middle of that huge shitstorm, I remembered that. Hah. Hell of a kid, I was.

Where was I, again?

Taking off your shoe, car started, glasses, et cetera.

Ah, right, right. Yeah. I throw her in reverse just as the radio comes on, and it’s “Shortest Straw”, by Metallica. The good old days, man. I was maybe, like, two, when the album came out. It was destiny, I guess. The song fit what everyone else was going through.

I turn around and back her out at like 30 miles an hour, slam the brakes, put her in drive, and just fuckin’ book it. I tear ass for about a mile and a half, when I pass my neighborhood. Nice, affluent, upscale neighborhood. Cold, though. Neighbors didn’t wave much, and their fuckin’ kids would just stand out in the middle of the street, for no fuckin’ reason at all.

[John goes quiet for a moment; his eyes lose focus. He talks quietly now.]

I guess…I guess I shouldn’t talk about ‘em like that. Just kids, man. Enjoying life, and all that. And now…gone. Damn. Whatever – not worth being upset over. Not my fault.

[John takes another drag from his “q”, and regains his confidence.]

Where was I? Ah, right – the neighborhood. Positively swarming with Zs. I turn in anyway, and just floor it. I try to avoid them, but it’s just not possible, since they’re coming right for me. Eventually, it stops mattering, when I’ve got enough momentum built up. Ever seen a Z hit by a car at 60 miles an hour?

[I shake my head.]

Tears ‘em in half. At this point, though, I’m beyond caring. I’ve got my parents and my sister to worry about. I pull up in my driveway, and my house is on fucking fire. Even to this day, I’ve got no idea why. I don’t stay long, except to open the garage and see that the car isn’t there. That’s all I need to know. I run to the fridge we’ve got in the garage and start chucking stuff into my backpack – it was empty, since the school year was almost over – which makes it clear now that I wasn’t thinking straight.

What do you mean? You’ve gotta have serious presence of mind to collect supplies when you know ghouls are about, and you’re not even armed…

Who the hell said anything about supplies? I was stuffing frozen food, wine, mineral water, energy drinks, whatever, into that backpack. Of course, that’s all we kept in the outside fridge, but still. It’s not much.

So anyway, I throw the backpack into the car, hop in, and get moving again. I’m halfway down the driveway when I hear barking. I look over and see my dog, like five feet away from some Zombie. It’s one of my neighbors. Nice enough lady, I guess, but like most middle-class suburban housewives, she was already sort of a zombie. Damn, now I feel bad. Fuck it. You know the type, dude. Boring-ass life, slave to fashion, played tennis. Just waiting to die, I guess. Or maybe travel the world, and then die. Depends on how their mutual funds turned out, or whatever.

Whatever. I guess that sorta lost coherence, but you know what I mean. That’s how I thought; that’s who I was, back in high school. I hated that, that nine-to-five lifestyle, not giving a fuck about anyone else’s problems, just living for yourself, pretending to be Christian, all that shit.

Wow, did I just go on another huge tangent? Let’s see…useless housewife, zombie…my house…ah, right – my dog. I hit the brakes, and open the door and just shout some gibberish: “Ayyyy! Heeyyy!” Dog runs right in.

I lock the doors, back out, put ‘er in drive, and once again, we’re in business. Dog is going nuts, though, in the back, running around and shit. I guess I didn’t notice that much – I just hauled ass toward the city.

Wait, the city? That’s where there would be more people, and thus more ghouls…

You think I considered that? If you did, you’re wrong. All I knew was, my dad worked at the hospital downtown, and he didn’t have a car.

But wasn’t your family rather, you know, affluent?

He was disabled. Couldn’t drive.

[The reason for John’s fierce determination to save his father becomes clear to me.]

Yeah. Anyway, I’m absolutely shredding ass down this normally crowded highway, and all I see is a few other cars hauling ass just the same – in the other direction. That’s when I got that maybe, maybe this was all coming from the city. So I finally remember that I have a cell phone. I pull it out, still doing about 70, and look – no bars. What the fuck happened to the cell tower? Why would Zombies go for the fucking cell stations? They weren’t that smart. Or at least it didn’t seem to me. Still doesn’t make sense, but what the hell. Then I see it gets one bar. Then that disappears.

I try anyway. I get him on the line, and my heart leaps into my throat. It’s real choppy, and I can only make out bits and pieces. I don’t remember exactly what I heard, but it was something to the effect of “Shut up and listen. We’re going west. Get in your car and head towards Arkansas. We love you very much. We’re all safe.”

Hell of a lot for a conversation that was all chopped up.

Yeah – mind you, I didn’t hear all that, word for word, but that’s basically what I got.

Right. You filled in the blanks.

Exactly. So anyway, I realize that I’m heading the wrong way. I do a U-turn and start tearing ass in the other direction, following the flow of what little traffic there is. I check my gas, and thank God that I filled it up just the night before. My nerves start to calm a little from that panicked state, but they’re still buzzing. I know I’m going to pass my neighborhood again, not to mention my school. I just sort of keep my eyes on the road, and accelerate a little more. I did my best to ignore the fact that I was having to swerve to avoid my “classmates”. A lot of them, I didn’t manage to avoid. I think that will always stay with me.

I’m sorry…

Don’t be. By that time, they were reanimated. I shouldn’t feel bad, but it’s hard to dehumanize them. I guess that’s kinda ironic. We try to “put a human face on something so distinctly inhuman”, as the president put it. But whatever.

Cue Up Alice Cooper

Because school is, in fact, out for summer.

And what else is new? Not much. Girl at work is, I believe, flirting with me. Such is life.

In other news, I got the new Dream Theater album (Systematic Chaos), and it kicks ridiculous amounts of ass. If you don't own it yet, you need to go out and buy it.

If you have balls, you'll buy the special edition.

Last but not least: I'm writing a zombie story, in the style of World War Z, by Max Brooks (son of Mel Brooks, of Blazing Saddles/Spaceballs fame). I'll post that up later.

Bloggin' in the Free World

Just on to say a quick hello from the...what the hell is this? Hilton? -- Hampton! That's it! -- in Cincinnati, Ohio.

It's a sad state of affairs when you have to get out your wallet and check the room key to remember what hotel chain you're staying in. I guess that says something for their advertising, eh?

Either way, nothing to important to say, today (hope you caught that). Had a complete meltdown last night, which I'll attribute to stress over Kate/prom/school/AP classes/parents/this trip. My face apparently agrees with me, because it seems I'm starting to break out once more.

Gonna pick up an actual hard copy of World War Z for my birthday from my parents, and I bought myself about $40 worth of books today from Waldenbooks, courtesy of the $50 gift card that I have. Good stuff, good stuff.

But yeah, the main reason we're in Cinci, according to my parents, is so that my sister and myself can pick out stuff that we want for our birthdays. For me, it's mostly books -- I don't have many material wants. Just a couple CDs, stuff like that.

So yeah. That's me today. No ADDerall, no car, no nothing. Just me, the internet, a crapload of shopping, and two very sore feet. And a belly full of beef jerky. Mmmm.

As always, peace to my brothers and sisters out there.

When Locked Up, Bear Down...

I'm getting seriously restless. No offense to my parents, who I know work hard (or at least make plenty of money), but I really can't stand suburbia anymore. I probably can't even be sedentary. These surroundings are becoming way, way too familiar. I can't stand them.

That's why I think I want to join the Peace Corps. Travel around, meet new people, and make a serious difference in their lives.

That'd be some amazing material for stories, too, since I also definitely want to continue writing as I get older.

An interesting side-note in my life right now is my developing relationship with Kate -- we've been talking on the phone for ridiculous amounts of time, and I took her out last friday, then took her out for coffee yesterday. She seemed off today, and I feel like I need to find out why, whether it has to do with me or not.

It's not so much an obligation as a desire, to help her with whatever it is that's troubling her. Then again, some people call me old-fashioned, so I don't know. She let me read some of her stuff, and it's genuinely, truly, ridiculously amazing, and very well-written. Kate definitely has a future in writing ahead of her.

Another thing -- I listened to "A Change of Seasons" all the way through the other night, for the first time. It's an amazing piece of music, and the first truly inspiring song I've heard in a very long time. Too long, really.

So yeah. Now I have to wait for Kate to get off of work to call her and find out what's up.

Also -- I've been seriously looking at becoming a bush pilot in Africa. I'd purchase supplies from (potentially) American big-box retailers, and then distribute them to those who needed them most. Not sure what kind of airplane I'd fly yet, but I'm still just starting out on this idea.

I hope this isn't just that teenage idealism I hear adults talking about all the time, and that it will never, ever, wear off. This is who I want to be. I can't imagine living any other way than as someone who makes a genuine difference in the lives of others. And writes. And occasionally enjoys a good package of Pop Rocks, as I'm doing now. And attends Dream Theater concerts whenever possible.

More Poetry

A Broken Man Dies

I feel the curtains drawing closed,

The final chapter written,

The searing fire of inspiration hosed,

By death I find I’m bidden

Resistance dimmed by fire dying,

Violent thrashing all for naught,

On death’s grey bed my final sighing,

No more resisting, though I ought

The spark of life forever lost,

I can’t bring myself to grieving,

Love’s final, lethal, ultimate cost,

Chest’s final life-breath heaving

I ponder this, my destiny,

As though I’d more to offer,

Laughing softly, now I’m free,

No more good deeds to proffer.

-------------------------

Unfaithful

Faint murmurs, a steady rhythm,

And a grand entrance. Epic. Telling a story that deserves to be –

Nay –

Demands to be! Told,

Lest we forget, the awesome capabilities of man

To abuse women undeserving,

To say no

Thi--ng

Of innocent

Victim of her own society,

Portraying women as compliant accomplices in their own

Singular, solitary

Deaths, utterly undignified, and utterly

Pointless, sacrifice for

What? Is it dignity? Is that for what she died?

He would never,

Ever have approved had HE KNOWN! And yet,

Centered in the iron sights,

There she was, fresh out of the arms

Of another man

And he had known, yes,

When he’d heard…

Poem

Untitled

Laura’s agonizing tears burned

Jim’s chest as, gently, firmly,

He led her away from a city

In a country

Whose people had lost hope

His mind wandered to the night, years ago,

When they’d held each other close, safe, secure

Against incoming rockets

And swore they’d change the ways of these people

And presently Jim swore, likewise,

To rearrange the face of the bastard

Shelling the cinderblock schoolhouses

Embodying the knowledge of fishing with

Which he’d left them

As the giant hand applied

To Jim its tremendous donkey-punch

He thought,

How funny, that 155mm shells have no sound

Save for that of the rush of blood in my ears

It's Been Awhile...

I've been putting off a lot of things, not the least of which has been writing. Honestly, I haven't written in way too long. Why? Personal issues, partially, coupled with laziness, and with a dash of overwork and under-enthusiasm.

And, of course, going on a date with Kate. Yeah, that's right. From fucking nowhere! it's Kate.

I really didn't expect it either. I'd been sort of noticing that she was intelligent, well-read, attractive, and talented at writing since the start of Creative Writing class, but I always assumed that she was taken, or just not interested. Then she started showing interest, and I realized that she was probably the only female I knew who I could tolerate, and with whom I shared any interests (writing, insulting everything, being awesome), and that I did have some genuine(ly) unexplainable feelings for her.

So I asked her out on thursday. We saw Vacancy last night (Friday), and it turned out to actually be a hell of a movie. Most of its scare value was cheap thrills, and there were no monsters, so it was good stuff. Plus, we snuggled. Snuggling kicks ass, I'll be honest.

I feel like a complete jackass, though, since I showed up late, but she was cool about it. Hell, I called her afterwards and she said she had a good time, and that she'd like for me to go to her color guard performance this thursday.

So, naturally, I told work that I would NOT be able to attend on thursday, because my family died and my house burned down and I had to attend the funeral for my goldfish and I was actually coming down with something, because there's no way in hell that I'm going to miss her performing.

Shit, I'm honored just to be invited, and that alone should tell you how amazing this girl is.

She's heard of Matt Stover and Scott Oden, two of my favorite authors, and loves Chuck Palahniuk. She wins.

I can't wait to read some of the stuff she's written, and hear her opinion on some of what I've written.

No Witty Title For This

Got rear-ended yesterday on my way home from school. The ass in front of me stopped suddenly, and the girl behind me didn't. It had been snowing, so the roads were slick; she had basically no chance. I did, of course, because I'm in a Volvo.

Naturally, everyone involved was alright. Her headlight popped out, her hood is bent, she can't turn her steering wheel all the way to the left, and her door grinds against the body when she opens it.

The damage to my car can be washed off with a hose. I don't know how or why, but Volvo paint is amazing stuff. I barely even have a dent.

I don't believe I'll ever drive anything but a Volvo for the rest of my life.

What a wonderful way to start spring break.

But yeah -- as for the rest of my life, everything is pretty good. Kinda have a crush on this girl, but uh, after reviewing the results of my last "interest", I'm definitely gonna take this one slow. Don't wanna suffer another defeat of that magnitude of humiliation. That really blew.

Haven't been writing as much as I want, save for the occasional RPing.

Oh, and, I eagerly await the announcement of the Dream Theater tour dates -- I MUST see them in concert.

And I've started listening to the band Nile, which makes Ancient Egypt-themed death metal. Pretty neat stuff, has a lot of Middle East influence.

Several Updates...

Alright, so I'm driving now -- yes, yes, clear the roads and all that. Really, I'm not that bad, I'm just not as confident as everyone else yet, and I don't yet have the concentration to make full use of the relatively impressive sound system in my car to WHILE driving.

Also -- I thought I was in love with some girl for like three days because she was hitting on me (really hard), and then I called her, then she started ignoring me, and now it hurts, and now one of my friends has taken sides with her in this ignoring...war. And now Creative Writing, one of the classes I signed up for that had the most potential, is almost entirely ruined because these people suck ass.

I think my imagination got me into trouble with this girl -- that's the only real explanation I can think of. Whenever I see her, or am in that class, I can't help degrading myself, reminding myself of how bloody stupid I was (am), and how much I suck.

So yeah. Life is a mixture of extremes right now, but it's not too bad. I don't work this friday/saturday, so I'll be driving around for sure, maybe meet up with the guys, play a little guitar, go do some illegal shit, you know.

Stuff like that.

That's it for now.

--Mike

Some Writing Exercises

Lyle felt the crunch of alien tissues beneath his booted feet as the bastard’s head exploded against the wall with a sickening spray of blood and what he assumed was brain matter. The alien soldier – who bore marks of such high visibility that Lyle assumed he was a commander – slumped to the ground, its neck still squirting blood at a regular rhythm.

A second later, Lyle was himself on the ground, on his back, though he did have all of his tissues intact. He drew the rifle from under his back, cursing it for not being softer, and looked back and forth down the hall, drawing himself up into a crouch.

“Bastards shoulda never come on my ship,” he said, using the back of his hand to wipe flecks of blood from his cheek.

Distressed shouting drew Lyle’s gaze in the general direction of engineering, though he couldn’t yet spot the source; the fact that he recognized the shouting as human further garnered his interest, though he progressed slowly, using the rifle as though it were an extension of his jaw, sweeping back and forth and listening for anything that might give his foes away.

Daring to expose himself, he rolled across a perpendicular corridor down which he guessed was whoever was shouting. Lyle strained his ears, but could only catch snippets…

“Take that, ye crummy bastard, and one for yer motha, too, aye…” followed by the sickening crunch of something hard tearing through bone, sinew, and flesh. Lyle could only hope that it was alien. The shouting ceased. He broke into a run, fearing that whatever survivor he had heard was wounded or killed, and only hoping that he could reach them in time.

At the far end, he could see only a crouching figure, and another with an enormous chunk of its head taken out, blood pooling around its head. Taking the crouching figure square in his sights, Lyle crouched and spoke normally; “Who’s that?”

A smile spread across the lips of the figure, and Lyle instantly recognized it as human. Hearing the accented voice this close only cemented his recognition; “Not gonna shoot me, are ye, laddeh?”

“Ah, shit, Wallace, what…what did you do it?”

The ship’s cook – Joel Wallace – rose to his feet, ignoring Lyle’s question, though the blood-stained wrench in his right hand left little need for question. A small shudder worked its way up Lyle’s back, but he said nothing. Wallace had been with the crew for years, and while he’d always been rowdy and boisterous, Lyle never could have imagined him capable of such a blatantly violent act.

The man was probably unstable.

Without a word, Lyle unstrapped the alien’s harness from its chitinous shoulders and tossed it to Wallace, who wore it across his chest like a bandolier, alien weapons clattering against one another as he shifted it. As he did so, Wallace stepped into the dim light given off by one of the hall lamps, and Lyle could see that the man’s overalls were tarred in alien gore; he wondered how many of them the Scotsman had felled.

Lyle closed his eyes, and saw Lorraine’s death again. Shit, I’m tired.

“Y’all right there, laddeh?” Wallace asked, idly fiddling with one of the larger blades strapped to his stolen bandolier.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Alarms blared, and panic ensued. What the hell is the purpose of alarms, anyway? Lyle mused. Not like people can really go anywhere. It’ll just make them stick their stupid heads out, and expose them to even more danger. The ship’s paltry security teams assembled, armed, and then spread out again to cover all of the airlocks as instructed by the captain, whose complete lack of tactical sense bordered on disgusting.

If it were up to Lyle, he’d lock all of the unarmed civilians in engineering, give them a couple guards, decompress the rest of the ship except for one airlock so that he’d know where the aliens were certain to come from, and then hunker down and prepare. That way, there’d be no idiot civvies in the way when the shooting started.

No one asked Lyle, though.

In fact, he’d been essentially told he was on his own, and so he’d acted accordingly, procuring weapons from an abandoned security locker, and stripping off unnecessary elements of his attire. Lyle had never before fired a rifle, but he figured that if everything went well, he wouldn’t have to. He wasn’t an optimist, though.

-- 1-23-2007

The Fuschia Dream’s Sergeant-at-arms, Darius Orlovsky, stood before the airlock, framed by the massive doors. Lyle watched as Orlovsky pulled a cigarette from a breast pocket, thought the better of it, and put it behind his ear; he hoped that indecision wasn’t one of the more significant side-effects of the man’s nerves.

"A Higher Calling"

A script for a play I wrote for Creative Writing class, based in the Cthulhu mythos...

“A Higher Calling”

By: Mike Sowell

Characters:

Gefreiter Andreas Kaiser – Crewman aboard U-529

Hauptgefreiter Joachim Balter --

Oberstleutnant Adolphus Roem – SS Officer attached to U-529

Oberst Hermann Hebel – Captain of U-529

Gefreiter Langenscheidt – Crewman aboard U-529

Gefreiter Schangenholm – Crewman aboard U-529

Setting: Unterseeboot-529, a cramped German U-Boat in the South Pacific – a fact not registered on the official record because the U-Boat was commandeered by the SS for the purpose of investigating rumors of powerful ancient artifacts, as part of the Nazi party’s campaign to acquire physical symbols to cement their credibility as the true inheritors of the Earth.

AT RISE:

Andreas Kaiser: [Raising periscope] Nothing to report, Hauptgefreiter. All is quiet, as usual.

Joachim Balter: [Standing behind Kaiser] Ja, ja, as usual.

AK: Just like everything else onboard.

JB: Not exactly.

AK: No? What do you mean?

JB: [Smiling] I guess you’d not have noticed, being a sound sleeper…but, well, the Captain’s been having these strange nightmares. Absolutely terrifying, really, if the screams are any indication. A lot of the crew has been unable to sleep well, even the Oberstleutnant, and those SS Officers are supposed to have nerves of steel.

AK: Ah, I see. And since he’s the Captain, we can’t just keep him up at all times, even if it meant letting the rest of the crew sleep…

JB: Correct, correct. We don’t know what to do. The fat kid in the galley has been whipping up every backwater cure-all recipe that the farmboys in the fore torpedo bay have been able to pull from their asses, but alas, the dreams are only getting worse.

AK: Ah…I suppose I should be grateful for my sleeping habits, then. Hey, look at it this way – it’d be a lot worse if the galley ran out of coffee. That would be a true tragedy.

JB: Don’t you worry, Andreas. Things will be getting worse. Just wait.

Lights out, all but one, on ANDREAS KAISER, who takes a deep breath and begins speaking to the audience, his head bowed ever-so-slightly.

AK: He was right. The Oberst’s tortured screams got to the point that none of the crew slept, even me. The men got edgy at first, and then started to just…fall apart.

Lights come back in full as KAISER moves offstage. A lone sailor stands over the curled up body of another, his chest heaving before he turns his head and shouts.

Schangenholm: HELP! Come quickly! Langenscheidt, he’s…he’s been hurt!

KAISER and BALTER rush in and kneel beside LANGENSCHEIDT, who remains silent and still.

JB: He’s…damn, he’s gone. What happened to him?

GS: A…well, I was, here, working, and one of the valves, it was a valve, it burst, and I was fixing it, and when I turned around, he was…it must have struck him…my God, there’s…there’s blood everywhere…

Lights out again, and again the spotlight is on KAISER as he stands and moves to center stage.

AK: According to our corpsman, Langenscheidt’s death had been the result of nearly a dozen forceful blows to the head, with something big and heavy…just like the wrench that we’d seen Schangenholm holding as we tried to revive Langenscheidt. Strangely enough, aside from this, things quieted down quite a bit. The Captain even stopped having nightmares. Yes, the entire ship seems to have settled down…

The lights return slowly, and reveal OBERSTLEUTNANT ADOLPHUS ROEM standing before a low table covered in maps and instruments, one hand on the table, leaning forward, the other at his waist. Unconsciously, ROEM moves his hand over the grip of his holstered pistol several times, then back to his belt.

AK: Everything alright, Oberstleutnant Roem?

Roem: [Looks up quickly, clearly startled by the sudden realization that anyone else had been in the room with him.] Ja, ja, Gefreiter, I appreciate your concern. In fact, the entire crew has gone above and beyond the call of duty on this mission. Once again, Deutschmarine high command exhibits its talent for choosing only the finest crews and vessels for SS missions. The Fuhrer will no doubt be very pleased.

AK: We only do as ordered, Oberstleutnant. Your fearless leadership is the very glue that holds our beloved ship together.

Roem: [Bowing head slightly] I appreciate your kind words, Gefreiter Kaiser. I only hope that this trait of mine will be sufficient to maintain order amongst the men in the times to come.

AK: I am as confident in your abilities as I am in the discipline of the crew, Oberstleutnant. I believe that you have nothing to fear.

Roem: [Smiling, some of his tension clearly melting away] We shall see, we sh—

Simultaneously, the lights go out, and the sharp POP of several pipes bursting pierces the ensuing silence, followed by distant screams echoing through the vessel’s halls.

(Voice of) AK: What…what’s going on, Oberstleutnant?

(Voice of) Roem: I, I don’t know, but help me fix these leaks! Come, now!

A single red spotlight fixes upon Oberst HERMANN HEBEL, kneeling downstage, hands on his legs, head bowed. Slowly, a smile creeps across his lips, and he says quietly:

Hebel: C’thulhu fh’tagn, mein kameraden, C’thulhu fh’tagn…

The door to Hebel’s quarters slams open at his back, and JOACHIM BALTER is framed in the doorway, red light from the hallway outside silhouetting him.

JB: Captain? Captain, we’ve been having some serious problems, and…

All lights out, now, but one, on ANDREAS KAISER, center stage, head bowed and arms crossed slightly, a bolt-action rifle slung over one shoulder.

AK: The Captain said nothing, but Oberstleutnant Roem ordered us to the surface. He was the highest-ranking officer on the ship, so of course we followed without hesitation. As we stepped out onto the deck, we could hardly believe the sight that lay before us…a tremendous city, filled with buildings of a style we’d never before seen, or even heard of. Before I’d realized it, the Captain had made it on deck. He started speaking again, but all he said was –

Hebel: -- C’thulhu fh’tagn –

AK: -- and stood alone, on the prow, as though he wanted to be closer to this gargantuan city than any other member of the crew. It seemed almost as though the enormous city before us had some kind of power over him. None of us spoke a word to him. Roem, on the other hand, said nothing at all, but instead merely stared at the island before us, transfixed upon its magnificence. He seemed distant, and frightened, though by what I may never know, and would never ask.

JB: [Joining KAISER in the spotlight] When finally Roem began to speak again, he didn’t hesitate to order a small contingent of crewmen to go ashore, in the only raft we had aboard.

Roem: [Light fading on the others, then coming back in full force. Speaking to THE CAPTAIN on deck, though their conversation can’t be made out. Behind them, armed sailors load crates into the raft, their faces determined, almost…fatalistic.] …nein, Captain. Who will stay here and watch the vessel?

Hebel: I am sure that with your practically limitless amount of leadership ability, Oberstleutnant, you will manage to see to it that she stays safe. Surely you understand that a Captain must simultaneously follow his men and see to his ship, and set the two as priorities in precisely that order. I’ll have no more argument, Oberstleutnant.

Roem: [Clearly relieved] Very well, Captain. I see that you can not be dissuaded. Even so, my obligations to my superiors must be fulfilled. All I ask is that you write down, in great and painstaking detail, everything that you encounter, and take as many pictures as you can.

Hebel: [Nodding, accepting a camera that Roem hands him] Count on me, Oberstleutnant. [These last words as he steps into the raft.]

Roem: [To THE CAPTAIN] Remember, Oberst, leave nothing out. [The Captain nods, and Roem stands silently on the deck, his hand slowly, subtly, moving to the grip of his pistol.]

Lights out. KAISER comes out again, his clothes tattered, cradling a rifle in his arms. Solemnly:

AK: That was the last we ever saw of Roem, our ship, and the rest of the crew. The next night came an otherworldly moan, and a tremendous crash…

A tremendous screech of metal followed by a splash, and screams of surprise and anguish, all underscored by a terrible, low, moan.

AK: No one needed to ask what happened. Somehow, we all knew. I don’t think any one of us slept that night, but somehow in the morning, we realized that the Captain had slipped away.

Shakes his head and turns – the lights come back, and reveal that he is accompanied by JB, the two of them stalking through the forest, rifles at port arms, as if expecting danger.

JB: To be truthful, I don’t even understand why we’re looking for the Captain, that damn nutcase. He’ll do us no good even if we find him, especially without even a ship to command.

AK: [Stops and holds up two fingers] Ssshhh…

Distant chanting catches their attention, who look upstage, where the light falls on THE CAPTAIN, who kneels in the red light, hands on his legs, chanting quietly, oblivious to the presence of our two heroes. Vague chants of “C’thulhu fh’tagn” can be heard, and he begins to raise his hands.

JB: [Sneering] Great. Morning prayer. Fine, then, we’ll just have to come back later.

THE CAPTAIN pays them no attention, continuing his chant, he stands, still facing away from the two sailors. JOACHIM shoulders his rifle, taking careful aim at THE CAPTAIN, his face twisting into a mask of unadulterated rage, ready to cut the man down, but seeming as though he’s waiting for something. KAISER looks over and sees JOACHIM aiming at THE CAPTAIN, and slaps the muzzle of his rifle down, but it goes off anyway, striking the ground right in front of them.

Both sailors freeze, frightened of the repercussions from THE CAPTAIN, who turns and stands.

Hebel: Hah…mortal weapons…I’d have thought you somewhat more cunning than that, Hauptgefreiter Balter.

JB: You have no right, referring to me by rank! You left us, left us to die! And for what? Some stone city, in the middle of, of nowhere? Your crew is dead, your ship is gone! What do you have left?

AK: [Pushing JB to the side] Look, Captain, we just need your help, sir, we’re running low on supplies, and—

Hebel: FOOLS! To think that I give a whit about your petty grievances! The power of the German war machine is nothing compared to that of a single pound of stone from this ancient city! Himmler never could have even imagined the tremendous power of this city! And do you know what, scheissenhunden? [They shake their heads] It’s mine.

AK: [Mumbling] You really have completely lost your mind, Captain…

Hebel: Hah! The only crazy ones here are you two! Pandering about the outskirts, with your mortal rifles, while I’ve been sapping the energy of this immortal place, this, the tomb of C’thulhu.

Rain softly begins to fall, soaking the lot of them quickly. The Captain’s hair comes down over his eyes.

JB: [Lowering his rifle, his body less tense overall] What…ka-who?

Hebel: [Sneering] C’thulhu fh’tagn…"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn."

AK: Wh--…what are you, what are you chanting, Oberst?

Hebel: Do you not know, comrade? Has not Dread C’thulhu come to you in your dreams, and shared with you his wisdom, that which has indirectly perpetuated the existence of the human race?

AK: N—no, Oberst, I’ve…I’ve had no such dreams…

Hebel: Never mind that, for now…I must…I must complete the ritual! I must!

THE CAPTAIN turns away from them, and kneels again, chanting the entire phrase now, his head bowed slightly. Not turning, he says:

Hebel: It is a chant of reverence, I believe…and a claim to the infinite power which once manifest itself in a single being: C’thulhu. His power, it will be mine, soon…fear not, boys…I’ll not hurt y—

A tremendous moan disturbs THE CAPTAIN’s speech, and he stands and watches in shock as something occurs offstage. Immediately, BALTER follows suit, but KAISER, sensing that something is dreadfully wrong, begins running.

Hebel: Oh, God…how could I have forgotten? “That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die.” I’m…I’m sorry, my Overlord, please…please, spare me…[Looking up, now…loud breathing is heard…lights go OUT…a roar, and an anguished cry]

Spotlight on KAISER, front and center, rifle cradled in his arms, bearded and unkempt.

AK: I ran. That was all I could do. It…it didn’t chase me, but…I heard Joachim for several nights after that. Eventually, I went back to that very spot, where we’d seen the monster, and there he was…sitting there, rocking back and forth like a frightened child, crying his eyes out. His fingernails had been torn off, and I could see scratches in the dirt around him, where he’d tried to dig a hole with his bare hands.

Meanwhile, JOACHIM is in the background, a solitary light upon him, its harsh brightness casting shadows on his features, as he follows ANDREAS, doing exactly what he describes, as he describes it.

AK: For months, I cared for Joachim, whose mind surely must have been lost in its entirety on that fateful night as he and the Captain laid eyes on that…that monster, or however you may deign to describe C’thulhu. And then, Oberstleutnant, you returned to us…how?

Lights return in full force to reveal OBERSTLEUTNANT ROEM, standing before KAISER, his pistol in hand, a smirk on his lips. BALTER sits behind Kaiser, head in hands, shaking uncontrollably, and muttering incoherently.

Roem: It was quite easy, honestly. All I had to do was fake the sinking of the U-529, scatter the necessary debris to make it all believable, and then radio Berlin to send the Kriegsmarine. As soon as they arrived, we came ashore, not daring to make a move before the Fuhrer himself had deemed it safe for any true loyal member of the party to set foot on the island. Now, knowing of what the Captain tried to do, I regret to inform you that you are to be charged with treason. As executor of the will of the Third Reich, and by proxy the German people, I pronounce you a traitor to the party, and thus barely worthy of the bullets that my duty requires I put into your subhuman body.

AK: No, no, Oberst, you don’t underst—

ROEM fires two shots each into KAISER and BALTER. They fall instantly, and their bodies twitch briefly before ROEM fires into them again, silencing them. He turns and signals to the sailors behind him, out of sight.

Roem: Come. We’ve no business left here to which we are required to attend.

FIN

Mike's Day Off

So, I didn't feel like going to school today, so I faked sick.

Unfortunately, I fear that guilt might ruin a day that I'd intended to be otherwise relaxing. All I want to do today is reintroduce myself to trading in SWC, write things I've been meaning to write for a long time, watch a couple movies, and clean my room.

Honestly, is that so much to ask? I don't think it is.

I remember Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and envy the protagonist for his carefree lack of scruples.

Honesty is my curse.

Buttsex for Bedsheets?

So, I was manning the cash register alongside this girl I barely know but already can't stand, and who talks too much, and she started telling me about her apartment's...pink-ness. Pink everything, right? Anyway, she buys pink bedsheets, and apparently her boyfriend says that the only way he's sleeping under pink sheets is if she lets him have butt sex with her every we--STOP TELLING ME THIS STUPID STORY!

I don't know you. I don't care. I'm not of legal age to even be hearing this. In the immortal worlds of Tom: "Crazy cock-eyed bitch."

Anyhow; I'm in customer service now, as opposed to merch. Hearsay has it, however, that they'll let me go back to merch as soon as Trey comes up.

A Serious Resolution

Some humility. Things aren't such a big deal, life isn't so bad, and I'm not the greatest human being to ever walk the Earth. I also need to cut down on the profanity...

...baby steps. Baby steps.

Maybe someday. ;D

5231

The year was 5231. All sentimentality for the home planet of the human race had since fled from the hearts of her children. Earth had long ago been strip-mined clean of anything useful, and left as a molten core of refuse. Likewise, humanity had spread the disease of its presence beyond its home, leaving the first remnants of a shattered solar system in its wake, a mausoleum that would be mirrored thousands of times over. Signs of humankind permeated the Milky Way galaxy, and ancient races were beginning to take notice.

The Ren, overlords of all other sentient races in the galaxy, had decided that humanity was no longer worth its cost. They considered the fact that humankind now used the world that had been granted to them in their earliest days as a trash heap to be a considerable insult.

Now, dozens of other worlds were being given similar treatment, and hundreds more were being threatened by humankind. The Ren knew that they had to put a stop to this before the territories of their constituents were compromised; the Ren were a race notorious for the fury that they could bring if their meticulously-organized plans were disrupted. Now was one such time.

Across the galaxy, military units long held in reserve were being re-activated and geared up for an assault, an arrow-shaped offensive designed to drive humanity from any and all important planets and scatter them to the solar winds.

Darik`a stood before the command viewport of Peace and Order, gazing out across the Stamotian nebulae and admiring their beauty. There was no way they wouldn’t be; the finest artists amongst his people had painstakingly designed them to be as such, and then scattered the stellar gases in such a way that the rays of the system’s sun caught them just right, brilliantly coloring them.

Darik`a opened and closed the protective membranes over his eyes several times, the universal sign amongst Ren of withheld distress.

The tendrils lining his spine relaxed against his back, indicating to any observers that he was at ease. Within, however, Darik`a was a torrent of thought and emotion.

For the first time in eons, his people would be going to war.

Massive warships were being recalled from the farthest reaches of the galaxy to the throne-planet Va-Nar, homeworld of the Ren. Already, the press corporations of a thousand solar systems were deeming the massive military buildup “The Rearmament”.

It had been ages since the overlords of the galaxy, the noble Ren, had felt themselves unsafe. Even so, their military forces were well-armed, well-trained, and well-deployed throughout the galaxy.

Lyle Sanders was not a drug addict forced into the habit because he lived in a bad neighborhood, or because he was depressed, or because it was the only way he could make money. There was just nothing else to fuckin’ do on the Fuchsia Dream.

The attendant gig wasn’t so bad, really; punching ticket after ticket, serving watered-down drinks to whiny children, then sitting back and waiting for something to do – anything, man. Anything.

Sure, the other flight attendants knew. He knew they knew, but as long as he didn’t fuck up and didn’t do anything wrong, who cared? It wasn’t like most of them weren’t shooting up themselves.

That was a course he plotted for himself, though. There was really no room to move up in Consolidated Intergalactic Transport services, but at least he had some job security. And a girlfriend, even if only in name. You certainly wouldn’t prove yourself a good psychologist by pointing out that theirs was hardly a relationship – they were both addicts, who happened to have both reached the peak of their substance-induced sex drives one day and ended up occupying one of the unoccupied bathrooms for a few minutes together.

Lorraine really wasn’t much to look at. Haggard, you could say. Didn’t really take good care of her long brown hair or pale skin, didn’t take too much pride in her appearance. Low self-esteem was probably what put her in the needle’s frigid embrace.

Emptily she repeated to herself that she was her own woman, that this whole drug thing was just temporary, to relieve the boredom of serving on the crappiest space liner in the galaxy. Just as empty were her self-assurances that Lyle was in love with her, though she couldn’t have known.

He was a convincing liar.

An exhilarated cough and a smile of self-satisfaction heralded the arrival of something new but familiar into Lyle’s bloodstream, the same batch of ice he’d been shooting up with since they’d last made port. He flexed and contracted his hand, his godlike strength coming back to him.

A silent nod of acknowledgement from him, a loosening of the belt, and the suppression of a heartfelt whoop later, Lyle was on his feet and out the door, prowling the corridors of the Fuchsia Dream. Hunching forward slightly, the Beast formerly known as Lyle eyed passersby beneath a furrowed brow, drawing more than a few frightened stares.

Hours later, Lyle sat in the infirmary. White-hot tendrils of agony shot through the veins in his arm as the drugs administered by the nurse immediately brought him down from his high. If leather straps hadn’t bound his arms to the table, he would have reached out and killed her.

A mountainous figure of a man filled the doorway; the Captain. Loping strides conveyed Cap’n Theodos to Lyle’s side, disappointment infecting those deep green eyes as they gazed into him. Lyle turned away; thinking that he’d somehow let the Captain down was more painful than having to face the man’s rage.

“You’re lucky,” Captain Theodos said quietly. “You could have died. Or been permanently incapacitated. Or, worse, offended one of the passengers, in which case I’d have been forced to let you go.”

The Captain’s masked compliment caught in Lyle’s throat, keeping him from speaking. Not that he could have said anything of substance, anyway.

“You do good work, son,” Theodos continued “That’s the only reason I’m not letting you go. I see that you’ve got a life ahead of you…and I’d be real sad if that life involved whatever it is that we just had to bring you down from.”

A curt nod was all Lyle could manage. Hell, what did you say to something like that? Nothing that wouldn’t end up in Lyle looking dumber than he already did, and that definitely wasn’t what he wanted.

Sensing that the restrained attendant before him was at a loss for words, Captain Theodos placed a hand on Lyle’s shoulder.

“You’ll do fine, my boy,” he said before turning on his heel and striding from the infirmary, leaving Lyle to his thoughts. He shut his eyes tight and laid back, contemplating the rather one-sided exchange that had just taken place.

When Lyle again opened his eyes, they met Lorraine’s. She was straddling him, but being careful to let most of her weight rest on the bed; he presumed that he’d fallen unconscious, and Lorraine had come to take him back to his quarters.

“Smooth work there, slick, getting caught by the Captain and all. Vomiting on his shoes was a particularly nice touch,” she rasped, a bit of a mischievous grin crossing her lips as she imparted this knowledge to Lyle.

He groaned, now realizing how he’d been caught…and why. A faint memory of the stench of vomit brought him back to the instant when his lunch had decided that it matched the Captain’s boots better than his stomach.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Nor`od`un spread his mouth-tendrils in the Ren approximation of a smile. “Slipstream capacitors operating at optimal efficiency, Captain,” his engineering subordinate reported.

“Keep me posted,” he replied, allowing the needless gesture to fade from his visage. The Ren were supposed to have become a race entirely devoted to the efficient conveyance of ideas, having shunned the theatrical and unnecessary practice of facial expression several ages ago.

Artistic expression, poetic license, even the teachings of literature were simply abandoned, not even acknowledged by the Ren people as a whole, deemed unnecessary and archaic. Automated databanks containing all of the objective knowledge possessed by the Ren were all the reading that their posterity needed, in their estimation.

Nor`od`un sighed, his mind wandering once more. His ship, Fortune’s Favorite, while only a Corvette -- a tadpole amongst sharks -- packed a few surprises of her own. More than likely, it was well beyond a match for any human opposition it would encounter out here on the border worlds of human civilization.

Literary Description

I'm hyper on mountain dew, and I'm bored. I like writing descriptions, so here we go.


He slid his card through the reader again, more forcefully this time, his lips only just starting to curl up in something of a scowl. Were it capable of any feeling whatsoever, the plastic box through which he slid his card would surely have begun to fear him; at six and a half feet, he surely wasn't someone most people felt comfortable frustrating, and rarely did they, though the card reader was doing its best. He slid his left sleeve back, checking his watch and revealing more of his pale arms, which suggested Scottish heritage -- residents of that windswept island rarely saw daylight -- and loosed a string of curses. He looked up and surveyed the area before the computer; noone was around. His posture suggested pride, even arrogance, both of which were especially lacking among employees of this particular retail establishment.

Cool blue eyes, framed by noble features and a shock of curly dark-brown hair, flitted amongst the occupants of the store, taking in each, making an analysis, and storing it away for later, when it could help him push second-rate products into their unsuspecting arms.

Another day, another dollar.

(Yeah, it's me, at work. I've been thinking about this one for a while.)

Christmas Stuff

(I figure this goes, chronologically, before the New Year's Post I'm about to make)

Short list of what I got for Christmas:
Heroes Die (from Greg!)
Memnon (finally)
Brief History of Time
Astronomer's Guide to the Galaxy
Large book full of pictures from Hubble
External DVD-ROM drive
Roman Trooper Helmet (Gallic Style)
Safari Vest
$25 to Circuit City (har, har, har) and Barnes and Noble, the latter of which I spent in its entirety on Christmas day on bargain-priced books on their website.
A book about "Unhistory" from Uncle Forrest
$50. Cash, from Aunt Malissa/Uncle Bob/Cousin Henry/Weird cousin Seamus

Happy...Happy New Year's?

So, I just spoke on the phone with Chris, Wesley, and Dolan, for an hour.

Brought up some interesting sentiments. I remembered why I kind of resent Chris (excludes me), but I do my best to be mature about it. I was put on speakerphone, so I was essentially on display for the duration of the phone conversation, because I'm funny.

I guess that's flattering...right? Right?

Anywho, as for resolutions...are you just supposed to make one? Screw that. My resolution is that I want the ability to carry out the rest of my resolutions. H'arr. I fought the system, and I won.

Right. Well, my resolutions are as follows:
Be more compassionate. I've been callous in the past, or at least seemed as much, when in reality I didn't feel anything like the impression that the person who was the object of this behavior must have felt that I did.

Read and write more. Damn, I really need to write more. I have a ton to do, and little time to do it.

Get closer to college. 'nuff said.

Stop taking on so much. I can only handle so much, so I've gotta let some stuff go, right? I think so, anyway. I'm doing stuff I enjoy, and only the bare essentials of what's necessary for me to achieve my goals in life. Well, I shouldn't say it like that, because it's not what I mean -- but I know what I mean, so it's good enough.

So yeah, that's it.

I don't know why I felt like posting tonight, of all nights, but there it is.